How to Cope with Failure

By: Safiel Vonay

I stumbled upon such an interesting question by Gary Vaynerchuk a few days ago. The question was: “who are you afraid to fail in front of?” It got me thinking… Hmm, who am I afraid to fail in front of?”

Then it got me thinking about failure itself.

For many artists, failure is a scary thing. There’s an infinite amount of reasons why we may be afraid to fail. Pride. Fear of looking stupid in front of others. Humiliation. Not knowing the outcome. Losing money. The list goes on and on…

So how do we learn to cope with Failure? Because in essence, failure is a necessary ingredient to achieving goals. The simple answer is, do it more often.

When we decided to open up the Grind Rehearsal Studio for our musicians and bands, we knew that we had a very little idea of what we were doing. So the best thing to do, was become aware that we were going to fail. And actually, we aimed at failing faster.

Fail Fast: when you are going to begin a new venture, put it in your brain to fail fast. It might sound weird or counterintuitive, but the truth is, the faster you fail the faster you learn. If you’re beginning your social media journey, try out as many things as possible until you learn what works and what doesn’t with your audience. If you are a spoken word poet, try out different styles of performance and learn what people react to the most. Failing fast is the best way to learn fast and adjust your tactics.

Get Excited: Yup, get excited. When you fail enough that you are no longer worried about failing, new ventures become exciting. You know that you’re going to bump into some obstacles along the way, but you don’t care, because you are prepared with the mentality that all of these obstacles can be figured out. It gets exciting, like you’re going on a new journey and you have to figure out how to reach your new set of goals.

Be real to the People you’re afraid to Fail in front of: This leads back to my initial question. So as I pondered this question I came up with two answers; my lover and my sister. It took a while to understand why I had answered this, but after some thought I realized that I was afraid of their rejection. So my solution; was to be truthful, open and literally sit them down and talk to them. I told them that I was going to try a lot of things out, and I know I’d fail at many of them. Honestly, I wasn’t asking for their permission, more like expressing my inner fears in order to move on from them. If they were to be aware that I knew I’d fail, personally, it’d make it easier for me to fail and not feel embarrassed that I had done so.

Note down possible Obstacles: If you write down all the possible fails that may happen before they happen; a) you can prepare for them b) they won’t seem so big.

Failure happens. It’s a beautiful part of the process. When we had 10 people come out to our events, we learned from it. When we got kicked out of our last studio space, we learned from it. When we failed to prepare properly for events, we learned from it. They were all failures, but they’ve all lead to the knowledge and skills we’ve obtained today. So look at your present. Look at what you want to do. And get excited to learn from your failures.

Let us know how you cope with your failures, and share your stories below! Until next time, the Grind continues.



The NYC Grind began as a monthly open mic for all artists in Queens NYC. We have grown to bi-monthly warehouse parties showcasing hundreds of artists to now our very own studio in LIC NY. We provide a platform to artists of all mediums to share their work, meet new people and connect with talents from all over the NYC area. The Grind also connects artists with necessary services such as cinematography, video editing and even sound engineering for artists who want to take their taint to the next level. You have Talent. We host Event.